Autonomy vs. Shame and Doubt?

I am the mother of a two-year-old that keeps me busy and laughing! My daughter’s language skills are developing and she surprises me with new words daily. It is a wonderful experience watching her grow and learn. I am glad that she is eager to try new things and want to do things on her own. As an educator I am familiar with this being the Autonomy vs. Shame and Doubt Stage of Erik Erikson’s development theory. During this stage it is important for parents to encourage independence, and be very supportive as the child tries new tasks. It is believed with this encouragement and support that the child will become more confident and secure. The encouragement and support is needed because if the child is frequently criticized they will have low self-esteem, and feel a sense of shame and doubt in their own abilities.

Now that I have a child of my own I definitely know what kind of teachers I want her to have. I want my child to have encouraging and supportive teachers. It brings a smile to my face every time I hear my two-year-old say, “Look at me Ma”, and “I do it”. Parents and teachers should continue to encourage children to be creative and to explore their individual interest. Even in high school students should be excited about accomplishing a task or goal, and in a mature way say “look at me”.

As a high school teacher I really have no idea what kind of encouragement and support my students had as young children. What I do know and understand is that their early childhood experience does have some influence on who they are today. This is what I have observed and learned over the years, that it is never too late to show support and encouragement to a child! I am sure to encourage my high school students daily and it makes a huge difference. My students are more eager to try and learn new things. I have observed that even if my students make mistakes or don’t do well on something they are willing to try again, because of the supportive classroom learning environment. Every student may bring effects of past experiences into the classroom, but it should not be a hindrance to their future and goals in life. Parents and teachers should be supportive and encouraging every day!

McLeod, S. A. (2008). Erik Erikson. Retrieved from http://www.simplypsychology.org/Erik-Erikson.html 

"It Takes a Village to Raise a Child": Using Your Time, Talent, or Treasure

My high school students recently created a bulletin board titled "It Takes a Village to Raise a Child”. I teach Early Childhood Education, and Parenting/Child Development courses, so children are always the primary focus. When I think about the quote it always puts a smile on my face, because I have actually experienced and observed the meaning behind it. Parenting or raising a child is a full time job! There are various needs to be met for a child to be successful. Most parents have to go to work daily to earn a salary and provide for their families, so most parents cannot attend to their children 24 hours a day. Parents and especially single parents need many helping hands to raise a child.  

The “Village” consists of immediate family, extended family, schools, child care centers, neighbors, community centers, churches, recreation parks, libraries, colleges, and community organizations or outreach programs. The term “Raise” to me is helping the child to reach self-actualization or their full potential.  For the educators out there that know Maslow’s theory “Raise” is helping the child to get to the top of the pyramid.

When I reflect on growing up I am so thankful to all the people who made a difference in my life!  I think people should understand that it does not take much to make a difference in a child’s life. Making a difference reminds me of what a good friend of mine would say, “People should use their time, talent, or treasure.” For an example “time” could just consist of having a conversation with a child about their day or something that interest them. Sharing your “talent” can consist of you tutoring children, or teaching them a new skill at an after-school program. Sharing your “treasure” could consist of financially sponsoring a child for an extra-curricular activity, buying a candy bar for a fundraiser, buying school supplies, or giving a coat to a child in need.  These small gestures make a HUGE difference in the lives of children!

I think from personal experiences and observations that the “Village” should do these 10 things to make sure children are successful (no particular order):

1. Ask “What was difficult for you today?”
2. Ask “What did you enjoy doing today?”
3. Donate to a fundraiser or sponsor a child
4. Go to their games and school events
5. Give to a child in need whether it is clothes, shoes, toys, or money for a field trip
6. Congratulate them on their achievements and improvements
7. Tutor a child
8. Volunteer to teach children new skills after school (technology, arts/crafts, sewing techniques, reading activities, or preparing healthy snacks)
9. Ask to see their report cards and discuss with them the steps to take to improve or maintain grades
10. Ask them about their summer plans, and encourage them to do something productive